Finding My Way Home Read online

  “Oh, I’ll do that, no need to bother,” says an older gentleman with a huge smile that brightens his face. Such friendly people here.

  “Thank you,” I say smiling back.

  He begins ringing up my things, his eyes leaving the register to mine, back and forth. “No need to thank me, darlin’. That’s what I’m here for,” he says winking.

  Once everything is all packed into two large shopping bags with handles, I pay him, smile again and head down the street. I stop in front of Betty’s Coffee Shop and peer into the window. There is Betty, behind the counter, chatting away to someone. I head in and get behind the customer, to wait my turn.

  “So, I says to him, really? What you think you’re gonna do with that thing?” Betty laughs and her customer starts laughing hysterically.

  Her laughing slows down when she sees me, she winks at me and finishes up with her customer. I walk up to the counter, set my bags down on the floor, and smile at her. “Brennan, honey. Did you find a place? Oh, my! What happened to your eye, honey?” She seems really concerned.

  I subconsciously touch my eye, lightly, and shake my head. “Oh, that? It’s nothing. I… I ran into a door. Really klutzy, I know. Seems like I’m always doing things like that. It’s fine, really.” Damn. I hope she believes me.

  Her face turns into a frown. “You should have ole Doc Marrow take a look at that, he’s just up the street at the other end of town. Not far.”

  I shake my head quickly. “No. I mean, it’s fine. Almost all healed now.” Shit, I wish she’d drop it.

  She looks at me, her face sad and then shakes her head. “Stubborn as me, I see.” Her frown turns into a smile. “Black coffee?” I grin and nod eagerly. “Coming right up.” Once she hands me my coffee, the wonderful aroma filling my nose, she leans forward on the counter. “So, not trying to get personal, you’ll find we don’t do that here, but by chance you looking for a job?” Wow, it’s like she can see right through me. Is everyone psychic here?

  “Actually, I would love to find a job. I just hadn’t thought much past getting here and finding a place to sleep, yet.” We both laugh.

  She looks behind me at another person who just came into the shop then back at me and smiles. “How about you get settled and when you’re ready, you come see me. I could use a hard worker here while I take care of the Café.” Is she for real?

  “Wow that would be… That would be awesome. I am a very hard worker. I would love to. How about tomorrow?” She laughs again.

  “Well, honey, don’t rush but that would actually be great. Only if you’re ready. No pressure.”

  We talk a few more minutes, and I’m set to start tomorrow morning at six a.m. I’ve always been an early riser and love mornings. We say our goodbyes, and I head back to my new room.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon cutting out my stitches and settling on the lounge chair on the deck with one of my romance novels until I dozed off. I jump awake when I hear a knock on my door. Getting up quickly and rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I open the door and stare into the most blue-gray eyes I have ever seen. As I peruse over this man’s face, I spot dimples in each corner of his mouth as he smiles, short blonde-brown hair around the bottom and sides of his head while the top is thick and shaggy. My eyes trail down to see a broad firm chest, huge, strong arms, a slim waist and a very fit body. I hear a chuckle and look back up quickly, his smile brightening his handsome face.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you, if I did. Bailey asked me to come up and get you for dinner.” He extends his hand out to me, which I take, and he begins to shake mine. Very strong, yet soft. “Names Hutch, short for Hutchinson. Flows much easier.” We both laugh. “And you are Brennan, right?”

  I look down, and we are still shaking hands. He notices and let’s go quickly. Looking back up into his face, I see the small laugh lines by his eyes. He must laugh a lot. “Bren, if you please. Flows much easier,” I respond. He chuckles again.

  “Well, Bren. We have pot roast tonight, my specialty. I try to cook when I can to help out Bailey. You hungry? It’s really great, if I do say so myself.” There’s that full smile again and those dimples. My heart just swelled a bit. Yeah, not gonna happen fella. I’m nowhere near ready to go there again, maybe never. But, dang, I can’t stop my heart from racing.

  “Sounds delicious, I’m starving.” He turns and waves his hand towards the stairs. I exit the door, closing it behind me, turn and smile at him and head down the stairs.

  Bailey, Hutch and I are sitting around the dining room table, eating the most delicious meal. Pot Roast with mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots, salad and rolls. Yumm! It’s heavenly. Hutch wipes his mouth, takes a sip of wine and looks at me. “So, Bren. Have a good day?” His smile is breathtaking. Those dimples stand out and give him a boyish look. Ok, a hot boyish look. Oh, my god! Stop it! What’s wrong with me? No way should I be feeling this way! Not now!

  I shake the thoughts out of my head and smile. “It was really great, actually. I got a job at Betty’s Coffee Shop and start in the morning.” I feel like I am beaming with pride and joy. I’ve always wanted to work in a coffee shop, really anywhere and earn my own money.

  Bailey swallow’s her food and looks at me, the smile beaming from her face. “Wow, dearie. You certainly work fast. Betty must have taken a liking to you.”

  Hutch’s eyes pierce into mine. “I can see why she would.” Oh, my! I need to put a stop to this and quick. There’s no room in my life for a man, not even one that I would consider jumping on this very table. Oh, my! I almost reached up and smacked my forehead!

  I wipe my mouth, stand and start gathering the dishes. “I’ll clean up. It’s the least I can do.” I start to turn around to head into the kitchen when he stops me.

  “No! I’ll help you. It will go faster that way.” He jumps out of his chair and starts picking up dishes as well. Shit! This is not going how I want it to. I need to figure out a nice way to end this before he thinks something will start. He seems nice and all, hotter than hell, but I can’t do it, and I can’t tell him why.

  I let him help me clean up. The silence is deafening as we finish. I thank him, quietly, for the meal, say my goodnight’s to them both and head up to my room. I lean against the door after closing it and let out a big sigh. Shaking my head, I go over to my computer and boot it up. Another email from Simon, and my smile is back.

  I’m so glad and relieved you’re ok. You had me so worried. I’m not trying to scare you, even though I know it will, but Darrin is beside himself trying to locate you. He’s pissed as hell but hiding it around everyone else, acting all the worried and the caring husband. I will keep an eye on him and will give you updates whenever I can. You just stay safe for me. Let me know if you need any more money or anything else. I’ll always be here for you.

  Simon

  Shit! I knew this would happen but how does one prepare for this? What do I do? I hope I’m in a safe place. I really love it here and don’t want to have to run again. I start typing a reply.

  Simon, you’re such a great friend. I have to tell you, I’m scared. I think I’m safe, as long as he is there, but I have no idea what he may do. I hate that you are involved. You need to be really careful, please? I owe you, so much! Please, take care of yourself.

  Bren

  I shut down, go into the bathroom and get ready for bed. I am emotionally exhausted. Darrin and now Hutch, all plaguing my thoughts. I have to be strong. I have to be more careful and watch my back. I get into bed and fight my full head, tossing and turning almost the entire night and finally falling into a restless sleep.

  Chapter Three

  Damn! What a girl! She’s beautiful, and I can tell she has a great head on her shoulders. Brennan. Bren. She doesn’t look like she fits that name, at all. I wonder. I’ll bet that isn’t even her real name. I’m not stupid. I saw the bruises that are almost healed from what was once a black eye and I saw the stitches under her eye too. Damn, bastard! Anyone who hits a lady is a damn
bastard!

  I go downstairs the next morning and make coffee. I’m an early riser and love to drink my black coffee sitting out on the deck and watching the sunrise. I turn to see Bailey walk out the door with a cup of coffee and sit in the chair next to me.

  “This is my most favorite time of the day, watching the sunrise.” She sips her coffee, and we sit in silence for a while. Finally, she turns her head towards me. “She’s been through something rough, something that made her run.” She faces the scenery again. “I saw her coming. I knew she was coming.” She’s the sweetest old woman but really kind of creepy sometimes. It’s like she can see things or sense things.

  Looking at the sunrise I frown. “She’s been beaten. There’s no doubt in my mind. She seems to be holding up ok though, at least for now.” I look over at her as she turns her head towards me. “She’ll need to talk to someone, at some point. I’m not the right person, though I’d like to be.”

  We sit in silence once again. “We can’t ask her to talk, can’t pry. It ain’t our way.” She stands, comes over to me and pats my shoulder. “She’ll talk. One day, she’ll need to.

  “I want to help her. I actually… There’s something there, I feel it. I never thought I would ever feel something for someone again. Never.”

  She leans down and kisses my cheek. “Son, everything happens for a reason. We may not like what happened but there’s a reason for it, almost always. She was sent here for herself and for you.” She turns and walks to the door, opens it, turns her head to me and gives me her sweet smile. Then, she winks and walks inside.

  After I watched Jodi, the love of my life, die as the Cancer consumed her tiny body, I thought that’s it, no way could I ever feel that love for someone else. I had given her everything: my love, my heart, my soul. How can I give that to someone and then once they’re gone, give it to anyone else? She took that with her, how can I feel that again? I’m not sure I can. I’m not sure I have anything left to give.

  I clean up my coffee mess and head upstairs. Once I throw on a tank top, some running shorts and my running shoes, I head downstairs and out of the house. I love to run on the trail that begins at the end of the street. I always used to keep fit, until Jodi got ill, then I spent all my time taking care of her. I didn’t mind, it was the least I could do. Last year, I’d had enough. Enough of the hustle and bustle, enough of the deadlines, the people. I was done being pulled every which way by everyone. Oh, I loved playing football professionally, and I loved having my pictures all over the magazines, buses and being on TV. But, after Jodi left me, I didn’t want to do any of it. I let myself go. I went into a deep depression where none of my friends or family could reach me. I didn’t care.

  Then one day, I just said fuck it! Packed my bags and drove. I drove for days until I stumbled on Sterling. That was nine months ago, and I am so happy I did.

  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

  Morning comes way too soon, and I find myself walking to the coffee shop in a little bit of a better mood. I’m not going to let anything deter me from making a new life for myself, not even Darrin. If he finds me, I will fight him. I just don’t want anyone here to get hurt because of me. They are all so sweet and kind here. I can’t and won’t let that happen.

  My day is busy learning the ropes. Betty is such a great and patient teacher and tells me I picked up quickly. She asks if she can leave me for a bit so she can check on Margie at the Café. That’s one I haven’t met yet but in this town, I’m sure that’s only a matter of time. Betty asks me for my cell phone number, in case I need her, and I sadly tell her I don’t have one.

  “Girl, everyone has a cell phone. I know it may not seem that you would need one, in a small town like this, but it would really help a lot. Also it’s good for emergencies, ya know?” Betty tells me sternly. I tell her I will get one later today and that puts her mind to rest. Maybe she’s right. I could give the number to Simon, and we could actually talk. I miss his reassuring voice. Since I have my new identity, with the help of Simon, it shouldn’t be traceable back to the real me.

  I have found that I love working here. The customers are friendly. The making of the different coffees is fairly easy, and my mind is kept busy. After work, at two thirty, I walk down to the small electronics store and get a satellite cell phone. The clerk explained with the surrounding mountains the only real way to get a good signal is with a satellite phone. It costs way more than I wanted to spend, but with a job now I figure I owe it to myself.

  I’ve never had one of these and feel utterly ignorant as the clerk nicely shows me how to use it. Darrin never let me have a laptop, cell phone or any of the things most people had. I bought the laptop at one of the train stops. I don’t even remember where it was now. Another nowhere town but it didn’t call to me like this one did. I’m so glad.

  I take my new possession home and quickly send an email to Simon. I can’t wait to share my news of my new job and phone with him. He knows better than anyone how secluded Darrin made me.

  Hey, got my first cell phone today! So excited! My number is 555-888-2999. Call me when you can. Can’t wait to hear your voice!

  Love,

  Bren

  I take a quick shower, getting all the grime and grease off me and out of my hair. I’m brushing out the snarls in my wet hair when I hear my phone ringing. I quick run into the room, look at the number and hit answer. “Simon! Oh, my god! Simon!” I sit down on the bed, my heart beating so fast with excitement.

  “Sweetness! Oh, so good to hear your voice. How are you? How’s your eye?” He says in one breath.

  I laugh. “Simon, take a breath. I’m fine, really. My eye is much better but it did turn the ugliest shade of yellow and I took out the stitches, just a little scar there. How are you?”

  “I’m better now that I’m talking to you.” I hear him speak quietly. ‘Chris, be right there. Yeah, so good to hear her voice’. “Sorry, sweetie. Chris wants me to tell you ‘Hi’ and that he is so happy that you are safe.”

  Simon and Chris have been together for about a year now. They are so good together and totally cute. Chris is the one who knew someone who could get a fake ID and a new identity for me. He was so sweet to help me out. He’d do anything for Simon. They are so in love.

  “You tell Chris ‘Hi’ back for me and that I owe him. I owe you both, so much.” He goes on about how I don’t owe them anything and how they would do whatever it takes to keep me safe. How’d I get so lucky to have such great friends now that I’m free of that monster? I guess there are people who really care about me. We talk for almost an hour. I had to talk him out of coming here, for now. “I really need to lay low for a while. I think I may be pushing it to have the email address and phone but I have to have a way to contact you.”

  His sigh is loud in my ear. “I know. I know, but everything is under your new identity. No one can figure that out, how could they? There is nothing about you on anything that would say it was the real you. Nothing.” I agree with him but tell him to hold tight. There will be a time when we can get together. I hope.

  By the time I am hanging up with Simon, I hear a quiet tap on my door. I get up, open the door and there stands Mr. Beautiful. Shit! After everything I’ve been through why does he affect me this way? Shouldn’t I want nothing to do with men right now? I know I should feel that way, but when I look at him, gah! I can’t help myself. I feel like a younger girl in college again, smitten with the HOT guy on campus. I never felt this way about Darrin, not to this extreme.

  “Hey,” he says smiling with those gorgeous dimples at me. My smile spreads wide instantly. “Time for dinner. Bailey made her famous homemade chicken pot pie casserole. My favorite.” His hand flattens across his chest over his heart. “It’s to die for, trust me.” He winks and leads the way downstairs and into the dining room. He pulls out my chair, pushing me back in once I’m settled and places my napkin on my lap. Wow, such a gentleman.

  Hutch takes my plate and spoons out some casserole for me. Oh, my!
The smell is making my mouth water. He sits beside me, dishes out his own and begins to eat. Bailey looks at me and smiles. “So, how was your first day at the new job? Betty treating you ok? If she doesn’t you just tell me. She’s not too old to bend over my knee.” Hutch looks at her and they both start laughing. Ok, what am I missing here?

  I look at Bailey with what must be a total look of confusion. “Betty’s your daughter?” She nods then takes a big bite of her food. “Yeah, I guess I can see the resemblance now. Huh.” This is a small town.

  “Yeah, you’ll find most people are related to someone in this town,” he smirks.

  I chew, swallow and take a drink of my wine. “You?” I get a shy smile for that. So cute.

  He shakes his head. “Time to clean up.” He looks at Bailey, winks, then starts picking up the dishes and heads to the kitchen. Ok. That was strange. Something’s up with him.

  “Oh, don’t mind him,” she says with a frown. “You’ll also find there are some here, like you, that are here for another reason. Most don’t want to talk about why and we don’t ask. It’s just the way it is here.” Well, I can understand that. God knows I don’t want to talk about why I’m here, ever.

  Once we’ve cleaned up the kitchen and Bailey and Hutch have left, I fill a glass with iced tea and sit out on the deck. For some reason, my thoughts are consumed with Hutch. I feel like a school girl again around him, already. I don’t understand my feelings, at all. I’ve had the worse seven years of my life being held captive by an abusive man, losing all my self-worth, but yet I still feel something. I shake my head. No, I just can’t go there. I need to be me. I need to go back to being who I was before. I need time. I need to find my way home.